Light leaks through the wide glass window enveloping her features. I smile across at her as her lips widen in a soft laugh. The blinding light dances off her glowing tanned skin as it creates a glow of red around her dark blonde hair. Her long and delicate fingers swirl her straw around her strawberry milkshake, a forever favourite of hers. Her deep chocolate eyes glance up and my heart skips a beat as they meet mine. I lean forward against the table, wishing that this small distance between us didn’t exist.
She looks back down, taking a sip of her milkshake as a man catches the corner of my eye. He stands by the register people bustling around him, but his eyes only fall on her. I lean back as she continues to swirl her shake, oblivious to what is taking place around her. I train my gaze on his shaggy brown hair and green eyes, a sense of anger bubbling in my veins.
How dare he show his face here, how dare he come this close to her. I flick my gaze towards her, a slight warning hidden beneath. The man moves and she stands, walking out the café door. I linger slowly behind her, watching him follow her down the street.
I enter the large library my eyes focused on the help desk as I walk. I stop at the counter, handing the young girl my book. She smiles and bats her eyelids ambitiously up at me, but I ignore her. I glance towards the rows of computers, a glimpse of dark blonde hair catching my eye.
Her hands glide over the keys as she takes sneaky sips of a pink milkshake. The girl at the counter says something, but I can’t hear her over the thundering of my heart. The girl sitting at the computer turns her head, her chocolate eyes connecting with mine. My body freezes at her glance. She smiles a kind smile towards me before she takes another sip of her shake.
I don’t know how long I stand there, frozen by those eyes. But I watch as the girl stands and walks past me. She throws another smile my way and as I watch her leave. I know I’ve found the one.
Her fingers move quickly through the tightly packed clothing. Her eyes moving at quick speed and the left side of her lip twitching upwards as she thinks. I chuckle quietly at her expressions as she examines the clothes. As usual, she spends ages trying to decide what would look good, unaware that everything looks good on her. I slowly trickle through the men’s section, patiently waiting for her to finish.
I stiffen as a man with messy brown hair and tan skin approaches. I watch intently as he smiles at her, his body relaxed as he leans against the rack beside him. She gives him a small smile as he talks, her hands stopping their motion to concentrate on him.
My heart thumps against my chest and I take a long breath. They’re just talking, but so many men desire her, I cannot help but feel that pang of jealousy seep into me. His eyes do a sweep of the store and skim over me, but he takes no notice, sees no threat. He takes a step closer and I feel the angry thump of my heart as he touches her out of unthoughtful consideration.
I hold her tightly against my chest, her tears staining my shirt. Tears of my own slide down my face as I stroke her hair gently. I rock back and forth trying to remain calm. I squeeze her tight, whispering to her how sorry I am.
My adrenaline has faded, but my anger remains. He should have stayed away, he ruined everything. He shouldn’t have tried to take her from me.
I run my fingers through my messy brown hair as I stand from our small table.
She glances up at me, the light from the window shining in her chocolate eyes. “Where are you going?”
She swirls her pink milkshake around with her straw as she raises an eyebrow up at me. “I can pay, you know.”
I smile down at her, my stomach still fluttering even after all this time. “How much was it you had in your bank, five dollars?”
“It was actually ten,” she says rolling her eyes.
I chuckle, “You can pay me back when actually have money.”
I walk away, the sound of her laughter following me. I stand in the small line for the counter, my eyes drifting back over towards her. She briefly looks out the large window of the café. The sun streams through, slightly interrupted by a large figure. It makes her blonde hair glow and as she takes a large sip of her shake I smile.
I quickly pay as she stands, she smiles at me as she makes her way out of the café and into the street. I follow just behind her, watching how beautiful she looks in the evening light. I look back towards the café quickly; the outside tables now empty.
I sit in the corner booth a pencil bouncing up and down in my hand, my hair falling slightly into my eyes. I stare down at the book in front of me, my mind searing in mental pain. Wondering why I bother sometimes.
I take my eyes from the painful book and look around the large library. A blonde haired man, a bit older than I stands at the counter. I laugh quietly to myself as I watch the library assistant try to flirt shamelessly with the older man. He seems to not take any notice but instead, stares at the row of computers behind me.
His blue eyes start to move as a figure makes their way across the library. The pencil in my hand freezes and suddenly I understand why he doesn’t take any notice of the girl at the counter. The beautiful girl passes him with a quick glance, but his eyes stay trained on her. And as I watch her walk outside and past the window, I see why.
I step into the large store, the pounding of music hitting my ear drums. I smile as my eyes take her in, she stands at the rack her hands moving quickly amongst the clothes. I take a deep breath, trying to calm my nerves. Today is finally going to be the day, I knew I was being pathetic. She was just a girl, I’d talked to a million before, but she was different.
I approach her slowly, trying to look casual. I reach her and she glances up at me and smiles.
“Hi, it’s Rebecca right?”
“Hey, yea, you’re one of Jason’s friends aren’t you?”
“Yea we met at his party the other weekend.”
She nods and laughs, “oh I remember, who could forget that night. Connor isn’t it?”
I laugh,” I’m surprised you remember my name.”
She chuckles, running her fingers through her straight hair. “Well, you remembered mine.”
“Who could forget you.”
She glances down slightly, a small blush appearing on her cheeks. I quickly sweep my gaze across the store, trying to calm my nerves. They dance over a pair of bright blue eyes staring towards us, but I take no notice.
She looks back up at me, her chocolate eyes twinkling with a smile. “Would you like to grab a milkshake? We can discuss how terrible that night was in more detail.”
“Milkshake? Not coffee.”
She laughs, “nothing can beat a strawberry milkshake.”
“I’ll have to take your word for it.”
She grabs my hand gently and my heart thumps wildly in my chest.
“Come on,” she says, pulling me beside her, “you’ll never drink anything else again.”
I stand outside her apartment a small boxed shape lump sitting in my pocket. I glance down at the pavement, wringing my hands together. It’s only been a year, but I know I can’t wait anymore. I start taking shaky steps towards the door. I make my way up the long stairs, the door appearing in view. It sits slightly ajar, light leaking through. I furrow my eyebrows slightly, she never forgets to lock the door.
I reach the door and push it open, “Rebecca?”
My heart stops in my chest as my expensive shoes slide into a pool of liquid. She sits still, clutched to his chest, blood sticks to her skin and hair, her eyes open and lifeless.
He rocks her back and forth, disgusting tears slipping from his eyes as a slow trickle of blood leaks from her stomach. I reach my hand out to the door frame, trying to catch my balance.
“Get off her,” I say with the small amount of breath I can manage.
His bright blue eyes look into mine, nothing human in them. He looks familiar, but all I truly see is her.
“Look at what you’ve done.” He says, his voice slimy and cruel.
“Get off her!” I scream, I want to lunge at him, rip him from her, but I know that if I let go my legs will not hold.
“She’s mine and you took her! You couldn’t stay away; I couldn’t let you take her away.”
“She’s dead,” I whisper, “you took her, you killed her.”
He lays her body on the ground gently, she lies in a pool of her own blood as he walks towards me. He stands so close I can see every flicker of blood that stains him.
“She was perfect and she was mine and you took her.” He whispers.
I see the knife; I know what comes next. But I don’t fight it, I’m already dead. And as he spills my blood and I fall to the ground, I crawl to her. I pull her into my bleeding body and hold her tightly. I place a kiss on her bloody forehead and whisper to her the speech I had prepared, as my last words.
Photo by Unknown